strong emotions

i have been experiencing some pretty intense emotions lately. i feel so good today--it's almost hard to believe. i am so happy, so grateful...i feel so blessed to be alive!

i remember reading about people who had gone raw and began experiencing strong emotional detox...i couldn't really imagine how it would feel. i only thought about the physical changes--clearer skin, getting in better shape, etc. well, all of last week and the beginning of this week i had typical cold like detox symptoms.

although i've been raw since august of '08, i've only been eating low fat raw for about 3 months (with a crazy 18 day period of cooked food). my body finally has had a chance to get some nasty stuff out. what i didn't really expect along with the physical detox was the emotional one as well...

i spent hours just crying, not knowing what to do. i felt so alone, abandoned, scared...there were many times when i would just crawl up into bed, not wanting to have to think about the outside world. i really couldn't imagine it getting any better...but i resisted the urge to "slow down" the detox by eating cooked food...i wanted to allow my body to do the cleansing that it needed to do.

i am so glad i stuck with it....i feel better than i ever have! i feel happier than i have ever felt before :) i feel calm and at peace with myself and others. that's not to say i haven't felt sad...there have still been times when i haven't felt so good and actually those emotions seemed stronger than usual. when i've been sad, instead of trying to ignore my feelings with tortilla chips or pizza, i've felt them...i've learned to sit with them. and in acknowledging and dealing with my emotions i am learning a lot about myself.

i am very grateful that i have come to this point in my raw journey. i feel like i am finally truly living. i'm smiling for no reason at all...sometimes just giddy with happiness...wow, this life is so beautiful :)

the raw euphoria is back

wow, do i feel good! physically, mentally, emotionally...

it was a tough week, but i made it out, not only alive, but truly feeling wonderful! i feel so at peace where i am right now...i feel like i am where i need to be at this moment. i had a lot of emotional upheaval a couple of days ago...i thought of things that i hadn't thought about for a long time. i cried and cried and cried....

i've worked through those emotions and memories and i've come out so much stronger. i have such a will to live...to just be here, in the present moment. i want to run free and get outside...be active, enjoy life and all the things that are here for me to partake in.

i thought i was feeling good before, but i have a feeling it's all just beginning...

still feeling icky

i'm still not feeling great. i got into bed last night at 7pm, but i didn't fall asleep until after 9pm. i couldn't drag myself out of bed until 10am this morning. i was still very congested and tired in the morning...i just drank some water and rested...i did a little homework, but nothing too mind boggling.

it'll be another early night for me...

the body is cleansing...

a.k.a. i'm in detox mode...but aren't we always! really, the body is constantly trying to rid itself of toxins and sometimes when we give it the right environment (fresh, raw food/rest, etc.) our bodies can go to work detoxifying even faster...hence "detox".

i woke up on saturday with a scratching throat, but still felt pretty good. by saturday afternoon i was feeling tired....sunday was rough...throat was hurting, ears were hurting and feeling clogged, mental fog, headache...exhausted. i slept most of the day....i might have been up for 5 hours total. yesterday was better, but i still had a lot of mental fog and needed to take a 2 hour nap.

today i'm doing better...the mental fog has lifted. my throat is feeling perfect and my ears are feeling better. i'm just so glad i'm on vacation and am able to kick back and relax. i really think my body waited for this time for "sickness"...i wouldn't have been able to handle it very well if i had to go to class.

i never got frustrated while feeling down as i knew that once i got over this "hump" i would come out the other side feeling even better. i trust in the process and i know that i am doing the right thing fueling my body with raw foods. i'm excited to come out of this detoxification phase refreshed and renewed.

i felt great before, i can't imagine how i'll feel now....