strong emotions

i have been experiencing some pretty intense emotions lately. i feel so good today--it's almost hard to believe. i am so happy, so grateful...i feel so blessed to be alive!

i remember reading about people who had gone raw and began experiencing strong emotional detox...i couldn't really imagine how it would feel. i only thought about the physical changes--clearer skin, getting in better shape, etc. well, all of last week and the beginning of this week i had typical cold like detox symptoms.

although i've been raw since august of '08, i've only been eating low fat raw for about 3 months (with a crazy 18 day period of cooked food). my body finally has had a chance to get some nasty stuff out. what i didn't really expect along with the physical detox was the emotional one as well...

i spent hours just crying, not knowing what to do. i felt so alone, abandoned, scared...there were many times when i would just crawl up into bed, not wanting to have to think about the outside world. i really couldn't imagine it getting any better...but i resisted the urge to "slow down" the detox by eating cooked food...i wanted to allow my body to do the cleansing that it needed to do.

i am so glad i stuck with it....i feel better than i ever have! i feel happier than i have ever felt before :) i feel calm and at peace with myself and others. that's not to say i haven't felt sad...there have still been times when i haven't felt so good and actually those emotions seemed stronger than usual. when i've been sad, instead of trying to ignore my feelings with tortilla chips or pizza, i've felt them...i've learned to sit with them. and in acknowledging and dealing with my emotions i am learning a lot about myself.

i am very grateful that i have come to this point in my raw journey. i feel like i am finally truly living. i'm smiling for no reason at all...sometimes just giddy with happiness...wow, this life is so beautiful :)